Today in Science: The Universe is Flat!

Scientists at the Fermilab in Illinois are conducting an on-going experiment to determine if our universe is in fact just a two dimensional hologram.  In other unrelated news, scientists apparently get their drugs from the same guy we here at Humor-ness do.

"And like, what if beer is square?"

In fact this is a common topic of debate here at Humor-ness HQ.  So much so that we've developed and conducted our own experiment which yielded some surprisingly conclusive results. First we wiggled our fingers back and forth, then side to side.  After months of calculating the data we were able to safely determine two things:

 1. A pound of peyote lasts a very long time

 2. Of course our universe is in fucking 3D. My Goddamn television is in 3D for fuck's sake.


So, Mr. Scientists, please make our checks out to CA$H, thank you.

Humor-ness Is Back

That's right, just like those embarrassing warts you contracted from a McDonald's toilet seat, Humor-ness is back and bigger than ever!  Expect daily outbreaks of contagious proportions ( from us, but maybe from your HPV as well). From now on topical posts will be at the heart of this blog along with all the amazing humor and satire pieces that nobody ever reads! Did Kim Kardashian finally admit she's a man? Find out here! Doping scandal in Little-league baseball? Humor-ness will break the news first! Is your mom a saggy faced, meth smoking, no good stinking whore? Yes!

Pictured: Your Mother (You should really give her a call, you know)