Turkey Hacking group, RedHack, deletes $670 BILLION in electric bills

Source    "RedHack the Turkey’s number one hacker collective today hacked into the website of the Turkey Electricity Transmission Company website.  They then did something which will cheer a lot of Turkish citizens who owe large amounts to the Electricity department.  They have claimed that they have deleted the pending bill of Turkish citizens amounting to Turkish Lira 1.5 trillion.  This amounts to 668523705000.00 US Dollar at current market rate.

This is serious loss for the Turkish electricity distribution company if the claims made by the RedHack hackers are found to be true and the Turkish Electric Distribution company authorities do not have any backup to the website having the bill and liabilities details."

I'm not really sure how this story makes me feel.  Obviously I'm a little disappointed that my initial vision of  a specialty butchers coalition being the culprits here was just WAY off.  My second reaction was that who the fuck knew Turkey had that much money, let alone in the form of electric bills? If I had to guess I would have thought Turkey's entire electric bill would have been a couple hundred bucks tops.  That being said, words can't even describe the admiration I have for anyone who can make 670 billion dollars disappear.  Yeah it probably took 10x the hacking skills to bring us the Fappening than it did for these guys to accomplish this.  Most likely a disgruntled employee threw out the wrong floppy disk and, following the lead every celebrity lately who has posted an embarrassing/creepy tweet, simply blamed it on "the hackers".

Like I said, no clue how to feel about this.  Just all kinds of WTF going on in my head right now.

P.S. - If it was me, I don't care if I hacked into a database with $670 billion or a Coffee Bean account with a 50 cent coupon, I'm fucking stealing that shit.  Not a chance in hell this was simply 'deleted'

Today in Science: Newly Discovered Living "Mushrooms" Rewrite Evolution

A new genus of animal has been discovered in the deepest regions of the ocean. These organisms strongly resemble mushrooms both in cap and stalk. These ''magic" mushrooms, if you will, have scientists baffled as to what phylum to categorize them under.  Source: IFLScience

The official Humor-ness take on the subject? 

 Scientists be getting high again.   We've already concluded that today's scientists are perpetually tripping balls (see our article on a 2D universe).  It now appears that they're at it again.   No strangers to psychedelics ourselves,  it's pretty apparent to us what happened here:

Scientist one: "Hey, science bro, wanna try these new shrooms I stole from the drug lab?"

Scientist two: "Does Stephen Hawking shit in a bag?!"

----- 2 hours later -----

Scientist one: "Yo science bro, what the quantum physics are you doing in that bathtub?"

Scientist two: "Shhh... The mushrooms are sleeping.   They wanted to go back home to the ocean where they belong.  They said I could join them in their mushroom kingdom!"

Scientist one: "Whoa."

If that isn't exactly how it went down,  we here at Humor-ness will gladly eat our journalistic integrity. 

  

Today in Science: The Universe is Flat!

Scientists at the Fermilab in Illinois are conducting an on-going experiment to determine if our universe is in fact just a two dimensional hologram.  In other unrelated news, scientists apparently get their drugs from the same guy we here at Humor-ness do.

"And like, what if beer is square?"

In fact this is a common topic of debate here at Humor-ness HQ.  So much so that we've developed and conducted our own experiment which yielded some surprisingly conclusive results. First we wiggled our fingers back and forth, then side to side.  After months of calculating the data we were able to safely determine two things:

 1. A pound of peyote lasts a very long time

 2. Of course our universe is in fucking 3D. My Goddamn television is in 3D for fuck's sake.


So, Mr. Scientists, please make our checks out to CA$H, thank you.

Humor-ness Is Back

That's right, just like those embarrassing warts you contracted from a McDonald's toilet seat, Humor-ness is back and bigger than ever!  Expect daily outbreaks of contagious proportions ( from us, but maybe from your HPV as well). From now on topical posts will be at the heart of this blog along with all the amazing humor and satire pieces that nobody ever reads! Did Kim Kardashian finally admit she's a man? Find out here! Doping scandal in Little-league baseball? Humor-ness will break the news first! Is your mom a saggy faced, meth smoking, no good stinking whore? Yes!

Pictured: Your Mother (You should really give her a call, you know)

kid gets shot with pellet gun

This gun was loaded with only a home made dart, but don't get disappointed just yet, shit fuckin hurts